Those who know me well probably know that I am somewhat of a cycling-addict. I think it all started when I read the book "Every Second Counts" by Lance Armstrong during the summer after my 3rd year in undergrad. I wouldn't say that it was an exceptionally inspiring book, but it really got me thinking. What intrigued me was how a simple bike race can bring so much meaning and significance to so many lives.

What did the Tour de France mean for Lance?  Was it a road to greatness? Was it a way to redeem the bits and pieces of his identity and self-worth that he may have lost in the fight against cancer? Was it a path to rally up  the cancer community and to convey the message that you can fight cancer and win the battle with glory?

What did the race mean for the cancer patients who were cheering for him? Was Lance Armstrong a symbol of hope? Or maybe people identify with his fighting spirit and wish for the same mentality in times of adversity.

There probably isn't one unified meaning between Lance and the Tour, and those who watch him are most definitely inspired by different interpretations of the event.  Whatever the meaning may be, the underlying fact is that we create such meanings for ourselves. We, as spectators, take what seems to be an incredible achievement (7 Tour de France titles), mold it, embellish it, and internalize it as something that is personally significant. The fact is, whether or not Lance had recovered from his cancer or won the Tour de France has not the slightest connection to the prognosis of the spectator who was recently diagnosed with lung or colon cancer. This person would get a much better sense talking to his doctor and looking at his 5 year survival rate. But he chooses to identify himself with another individual who has won the battle and came out of it in glory. Often inspirational thoughts stem from such self-serving thought processes. Meanings and significance are often self-made. But is there something wrong with this?

When I first thought about this, I believed that I stood from the objective standpoint, psychoanalyzing this phenomenon. But eventually, I took a look at all things that are meaningful to me in my life and it dawned on me that this perspective implies a standard or benchmark for what can really be counted as "meaningful", which is absurd.  Can I say that my entrance to medical school is legitimately more meaningful than a spectator living the excitement of Lance Armstrong winning the Tour? Clearly not.

Meanings in life are mental constructs, and with time,  I learned to embrace it.  I realized that in life we have two choices. We can choose to cruise through life and let "meanings" find us, or we can actively find "meanings" in life. It doesn't necessarily mean pursuing what you find meaningful as the classic "carpe diem" suggests, but rather opening up your creative mind and finding meanings in things that you do. Challenge yourself to look at things differently in light of how they can be meaningful to your life.

So what did I do? I fell in love with the tale of Lance Armstrong, and I started biking. On the day before returning to UBC for my last year of undergrad, I decided to cycle around the city of Vancouver.

This took me 8 hours (including a random meal stop at a friend's house....yeah good friend provide each other with good food), and I LOVED it. I tell people this story and people ask me what the point was. I really had no good answers for them. When I really thought about it, I realize that I was identifying myself with Lance. I wanted the challenge. I wanted the sweat. I wanted to internalize those things that had made Lance great as a part of my identity. For the rest of the year, I cycled like a mad man (maybe 15-20 hrs a week on average). Heck, I skipped class to go cycling in Stanley Park. I remember cycling to the library with my 20 pound backpack and suddenly decided to go for a ride when I reached the library door. I even biked at 2am in the morning in the middle of a forest. It was amazing. Sometimes it baffles me how I managed to get any work done let alone apply to medical school in 4th year.

But is this the end of the story? Is this blog entry just about a loonie talking about his own exercise addiction? Well, that's a majority of it, but I also want to bring to your attention my most recent endeavour. Being in UT Med is awesome, but the one thing that I miss about Vancouver is the roads in which I could bike on. Downtown Toronto isn't much of a biking experience, nor is the weather conducive for this sport.

But lo and behold....................

Yup, I registered for the Ride to Conquer Cancer recently. It's a 320km ride from Toronto to Niagara Falls. I'm not only doing this for the biking experience, but also for all the cancer patients out there, including the ones in my family and the family of one of my closest friends. Everyone knows that cancer is a horrible disease. But how bad is it? Well, if my memory serves me correctly, 1/3 of Canadians are diagnosed with cancer within their lifetime, and 1/4 die of it. It's unacceptable, but this is the reality. My fundraising goal is $5,000. It may not be much compared to many of the other participants, but it's a major challenge for me considering the amount of free time that I have for it. The fund goes to cancer research at Princess Margaret Hospital, a place where I am currently doing clinical research.  I would greatly appreciate it, if you could click on the following link to donate:

http://www.conquercancer.ca/KevinLian

Finally, I don't want to end this entry as a plea for donation. I just wanted to share my experience with you all and hope that you guys will write back! I've just started MedChatter with a great group of people, and we hope that this site can be of great use to you.... whoever you are.

Kevin